


I Can Always Reset Again: The Run with the Suspension

by OsisHastoxett



Series: ICARA [2]
Category: Undertale, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Brotherly Love, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flowey Is A Dick, Flowey-ex-machina, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Pre-Canon, Violence, skelebros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7449733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OsisHastoxett/pseuds/OsisHastoxett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not every one of Flowey's runs ends up as interesting as he had hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains swearing.

Sans woke up in his bed with a throbbing headache. “ _one too many…_ ” he thought, rubbing his temples. He could hear faint humming and the sound of dishes clinking together from downstairs. Papyrus was making breakfast spaghetti; that sound never failed to comfort Sans.

He sat up on his bed, scanning his room. He spotted his blue hoodie on the floor amongst the mess and slouched over to get it. It was pretty filthy, but he settled for dusting it off a bit and slipping it on.

He headed down the hall. On top of the stairs he spotted one pink slipper. He put it on and descending down the stairs found its pair lying near the front door. He retrieved it, thankful that he didn’t need to search outside this time just to find his footwear.

He stumbled into the kitchen where Papyrus was humming _Bonetrousle_ and frantically stirring a pot of boiling pasta. Sans sat down and leaned on his hands. He didn’t say anything, just sat there watching his brother’s usual enthusiasm, trying to cope with his headache and trembling hands.

Papyrus turned around. “Good morning Sans!” he exclaimed with glee. “I have a feeling today’s going to be great day! Nyeh!”

“sure, good for you paps,” Sans replied absent mindedly. Papyrus frowned.

“Were you at Grillby’s late last night?” Papyrus asked dubiously, eyeing his brother hunching on his chair, so clearly hung-over.

“…maybe…”

“SAAAANSS…” Papyrus groaned. “At this rate, you will never get anything useful done!”

Sans sat there, quiet, staring at his shaky hands. His head was still pounding, but he was not about to start opening up to Papyrus; _n_ _o way_.

“i’ll get over it, bro” he assured. He knew it wasn’t true, and that none of this mattered, but he really wanted to get Papyrus off his back this particular morning so he was willing to say whatever. _just keep pretending everything’s fine and never stop_. “don’t you worry about anything paps,” he added.

Papyrus clearly wanted to believe that more than anything, so once again he let his naïve side take over and swept the issue under the figurative rug; he would let it slide, like he usually did. There was no problem after all, everything was peachy. Everything was fine. All he had to do was keep on believing and everything would work out _juuuuust_ fine…

Sans interrupted Papyrus’ inner reassurances when he climbed down from his seat and began dragging himself towards the couch. Papyrus noted how heavy his brother’s steps looked. He followed his brother to the living room. Sans let himself fall face first on the couch and just lay there like he was a sack of popatoes.

“Do you want any breakfast? I can bring you a plate of spaghetti,” Papyrus suggested. “It’s fresh and expertly cooked by me, Master Chef Papyrus! Nyeh-heh-hee!”

“no thanks, bro.”

Papyrus stood there watching Sans not move for a minute or two, then figured he had nothing else to say. He returned to the kitchen and ate his portion of the food he had made, trying to find his cheerful mood again. He had already decided today was going to be a nice, fun day, so he focused on that thought, willing it to turn into reality.

Papyrus went to get ready for work. As he came back downstairs, Sans was still lying on the couch.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on sentry duty, I don’t know, right now?” he huffed.

“umm, yea.. hey, bro, could you cover for me for today?” Sans asked innocently.

“YOU EXPECT ME TO DO BOTH OUR JOBS?!” Papyrus shouted, causing Sans to stick his fingers in his ear holes. “You lazybones!” he continued but lowered his volume to a reasonable level.

“bro, no one’s even gonna notice i’m not there. relax a little,” Sans yawned and stretched his bones, then settled comfortably on his back. “if undyne asks, just… tell her something…” Sans closed his eyes.

Displeased, Papyrus stared at his brother for a moment, then snapped himself out of the frustration. “Nyeh! I have puzzles to attend to,” he declared. He re-adjusted his scarf, checked he had his phone on him and headed to the front door. He turned to say something more about how great he is and how much trouble Sans would be in without him, but his brother had already fallen asleep. “Nyeh… Heh,” he protested quietly as he slipped out the door.

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus arrived at his main puzzle site in Snowdin forest and admired the work he had spent the last month doing. An ample field of X’s and frozen snow poffs opened out in front of him. He posed proudly and hurried over to start fortifying some of the smaller poffs.

When all the snow looked picture-perfect, he trotted over to the reset switch to make sure it still worked. All seemed well and so it was time for the first test. Papyrus was gleaming with excitement, shaking enthusiastically. He jumped on the closest X, turning it into an O. He hopped on the next tile, then the next one. Soon, he had cornered himself between snow and O’s and couldn’t avoid turning one of them to a triangle. “ _Fail_ ,” he thought, “ _how wonderful, that just means the puzzle is not too easy!_ ”

He skidded back to the switch and reset the puzzle. He chose a different starting point and began hopping again. Tile after tile X’s turned to O’s, but soon another triangle popped up. “ _Nyeh! Fail again!_ ”

His third try wasn’t any more successful, or the fourth, or the fifth. 22 attempts and two hours of intense hopping later, he was spent. Papyrus sat on a nearby rock, panting. “ _Wowie,_ ” he thought, smiling, “ _this is by far the hardest puzzle I have ever created!_ ” He mentally patted himself on the back, only to be interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Nyeh!” he answered.

“Where the hell is Sans?! Ngaaaahh!” Undyne bellowed. Papyrus instinctively straightened his posture.

“Oh, Undyne, hi, umm… Sans should be at his station… You know, sentrying…?” Papyrus babbled.

“No, he’s not. I’m at his station and he’s not here. And he hasn’t been here either,” Undyne declared.

“How do you know he hasn’t?”

“…Because there aren’t any empty ketchup packets here.”

“Oh.” Papyrus tugged his scarf nervously. “Umm, t-that’s because… I asked Sans to… go run an errand for me?” despite the cold weather, he felt himself sweating. He was incredibly glad Undyne wasn’t standing right in front of him.

“Paps,” she sighed, “please stop lying to me on behalf of your brother.”

Papyrus didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent.

“He’s at home, isn’t he?” Undyne was trying to sound patient.

“Maaaybe,” Papyrus squeaked. He was between a rock and a hard place.

“Ok, thanks Paps. I gotta go, catch ya later dude.” She hung up and Papyrus wondered if she was going to yell at Sans. He hoped she wouldn’t. He had to admit he did enough of that himself.

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus spent the rest of his shift walking around in the woods, looking for humans. Arriving to a small clearing deep in the forest, he suddenly stopped. There was a single yellow flower sticking out of the snow. Curious, Papyrus approached it. Just as he was within reaching distance, the flower turned around, smiling.

“Howdy!” it greeted cheerfully, “I’m Flowey, Flowey the flower.”

Papyrus recoiled from the completely unexpected turn of events and nyeh’d in surprise. He stared at Flowey. Flowey gave him a devilish grin.

“What’s your name, friend?” he asked, bobbing on his stem. Papyrus realized he was being rude and introduced himself. “Well golly, it’s nice to meet you, Papyrus. Say, what are you doing in the woods all by yourself?” Flowey said vivaciously.

“I’m a sentry of Snowdin town!” Papyrus declared proudly and struck a pose. Even though there was no breeze, his scarf was flapping heroically behind him like a cape as he did so. “ _I guess it’s sorta impressive_ ,” Flowey thought, since he still had no idea how Papyrus did that. “Golly, that sounds great, friend. It sure feels nice to hear someone’s watching your back,” Flowey rejoiced.

They spent the next hour chatting about general subjects like the underground and its inhabitants. Flowey’s fake smile never wavered as he kept pretending to be listening to Papyrus intensely. He wasn’t, though, because he’d already had this talk way too many times. The only reason he put up with the repetition was because this had proven to be the fastest and most convenient way to get Papyrus to his side, to get him to trust him and eventually, to do whatever Flowey wanted. _Favorite toys deserve special care_. Flowey kept smiling and nodding, giving automated answers. He just made sure to keep giving Papyrus positive feedback; a compliment there, a little praise here, that’s all he would need for today. _Easy-peasy_.

Giving his usual vague answers to Papyrus‘ many questions about who he was or how a flower came to even become a living creature, Flowey kept on luring Papyrus into a false sense of security. Just a little more encouragement, a little coaxing and this was a done deal; Papyrus would be at his mercy.

It was definitely an advantage that no matter what happened on any past run, Papyrus always reset back to his naïve, overly-trusting self. The cycle could always begin again; regardless of how many times Flowey had managed to break Papyrus or to bend and twist him into someone new, someone less gullible. Flowey had done it more times than he could count; most of the time just to see what’ll happen, sometimes just to piss off Smiley Trashbag since he knew how much Sans hated it when Papyrus changed. Flowey couldn’t help but wonder who Papyrus might be if he didn’t keep forgetting the past; would he, too, turn into a sad sack of depression like his dumbass brother? _Possibly_ …

“Hey, you know in Waterfall, that spot where the loose rocks keep falling down the side? Flowey asked. Papyrus nodded. “Behind that, there’s a hidden cave,” he continued, “a peaceful and serene place. I like to spend a lot of time there. So, if you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, you can find me there.”

Flowey flashed Papyrus the most emphatic sprite he had in his arsenal.

“Really? Wowie! Thanks Flowey, you are almost as great as the Great Papyrus,” he said, striking a pose again.

“It’s been an honor to meet such a cool skeleton like you. See you around, friend,” Flowey said before diving under the snow, deep into the earth.

Papyrus felt flattered and basked in the feeling of another’s admiration before turning back towards Snowdin. “ _That talking flower sure took a liking to me_ ,” he gushed.

He padded along, deep in thought. It felt fantastic to be noticed, to be appreciated, to hear praise. He wanted more. He decided he would go check out that cave soon. It sounded amazing, too. He was jittery with excitement and full of hope. “ _I knew this was going to be a great day_ ,” he congratulated himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Arriving back at his house, Papyrus saw the front door was open. Getting closer, he could hear Undyne, roaring. _Oh no_. He hurried inside.

“…Are you even capable of giving a shit about _anybody_ else?” she screamed. Undyne was livid. Papyrus burst through the doorway. Undyne was standing in the middle of the living room, Sans was sitting on the couch. They both turned their heads. “Stay out of this, Paps,” she hissed. Papyrus paused. Undyne turned back to face Sans.

“If you have no intention to actually do anything we ask of you, maybe we should just stop asking! Consider yourself suspended for a month!” She turned on her heels towards Papyrus and stormed forward, shoving him aside when he was too dumbfounded to move out of her way. She slammed the door behind her, making Papyrus wince. He walked over to the couch, sat at the other end and tried to make eye contact with Sans. The smaller skeleton didn’t seem fazed by any of this; he looked nonchalant.

“You got fired?” Papyrus asked, jaded, leaning towards Sans to glare at him.

“what? no, not fired. _suspended_. chill, bro; once undyne calms down, i’m sure she’ll come to her senses,” Sans assured. Papyrus huffed and crossed his arms, frowning.

“paps, it’s totally fine. i could use a couple of vacation days anyway…” he continued.

“VACATION?! What do you need a vacation from? Doing absolutely nothing, all day, every day?!” Papyrus shouted as he felt the bitter frustration bubbling deep in his soul.

“welp, then i guess i’ll have to _not_ do something else instead,” Sans grinned.

“SAAAANS! Why can’t you be serious for even ten seconds! NYYEEEHHH!!” Papyrus squalled.

“bro, you’re over-reacting.”

“NO, I AM NOT!”

“stop shouting at me, how is that supposed to help?” Sans got up to leave, he headed up the stairs.

“You don’t just get to quit this argument, too” Papyrus squalled. “SAAANS!”

Sans kept walking. He was done with this fight; all he wanted was a nap. He got to his room and locked the door behind him. As soon as he lay down on the bed, Papyrus was on the other side of the door, pounding it with his fist.

“Sans! You have to care, ok? You have to care about _something_! Even if it’s just a little bit, you have to _care_. Please, Sans,” he wailed. “Sans?” he leaned against the door. “Brother?”

There was no response and Papyrus knew it was over, he’d lost the battle. He hoped he still hadn’t lost the war though. “I’m not going to let you give up, I just can’t,” he said to Sans’ door and ran his digits over the wooden surface. Silence fell.

Realizing how famished he was, Papyrus saw no other option than leaving Sans be. He headed to the kitchen to make some delicious spaghetti. He cooked a single portion and sat at the table eating it, simmering. He felt powerless and alone. After he’d finished his meal, he decided he needed words of encouragement, and he knew just the person to go talk to.

Without saying another word to Sans or leaving a note, he walked out of the house and started marching towards Waterfall.

                                                                                       ---

Talking to Flowey helped. It eased Papyrus’ mind and he found the flower easy to open up to; it almost felt like they had known each other for decades. Papyrus poured his heart out without hesitation and Flowey smiled and ensured him he understood how he felt; which was exactly what Papyrus needed to hear. Flowey showered Papyrus with empty promises that everything was going to work out in the end and that it would all be fine, soon. This was never a risky part of the run; this was routine. They ran through their little dialogue until Papyrus felt better and then Flowey gently sent him on his way.

Feeling renewed as he left the cave; Papyrus decided to head to the other direction, towards Undyne’s house. Maybe she’d be there and Papyrus could talk to her about Sans’ suspension.

She was indeed home and delighted to see her skeleton friend, giving Papyrus a wide smile and a hard nudge on the shoulder. She invited him to have a seat and offered tea she had just finished making.

“I was hoping you’d reconsider Sans being suspended and all that… He needs to have something to do--”

“He needs to have something to do? Or _you_ need him to have something to do?” Undyne interrupted. Papyrus paused. “Umm, both,” he admitted.

“What your brother needs…” she clarified, “…is to stop spending all his free time at a bar and start showing up for work when he’s supposed to.”

Papyrus looked down and blushed slightly; he felt like he had let them both down by not taking better care of Sans and by letting the situation go this far. Not very good at dealing with disappointment or shame; Papyrus could feel his obsessive compulsiveness rising to the top as he glanced around Undyne’s place to find something he could clean or organize to distract himself. The kitchen counters were messy with dirty dishes, used tea bags and empty noodle containers.

“Mmm… May I clean your kitchen? Please?” Papyrus asked awkwardly, standing up. Undyne glanced behind her and sighed; she knew cleaning was something Papyrus did to keep himself together, to stay sane. “Umm, sure Paps, knock yourself out,” she replied.

He began clearing the containers and washing the dishes; letting his anguish wash down the drain along with the dirt from the plates. Transforming something from filthy and gross to sparkling and clean never failed to sooth his soul; now if only fixing all his problems was that easy…

“Just give Sans another chance?” he suggested once more in the hopes that a spotless kitchen could sway Undyne.

“Paps… What good is a sentry who’s too hung-over to even do anything in case a human does show up?” she stressed and tried to give him a stern but sympathetic look. “I know this is hard on you too, but Sans really needs to get his shit together. Like, seriously, _together_. All his shit,” she continued. Papyrus nodded, doleful, looking down at the floor. “Ok, ok, I hear you…” he said, sounding defeated.

There was a moment of silence. “Well… I guess I should go home and see if my brother’s even talking to me…” Papyrus hesitated. Undyne strode over and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Don’t give up Paps,” she encouraged, “if anyone can get through to Sans and help him, it’s gonna be you.”

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus spent the entire walk home talking to Sans in his head; trying to come up with what he could say and guessing what his brother’s response might be.

As soon as he got in the house, he headed up the stairs to knock on Sans’ door. “Sans?” he called out carefully, “can we talk about this now?” He waited for a full minute for an answer but didn’t get one. He knocked again. “Sans? Are you still mad at me for yelling at you? ‘Cause I’m sorry, ok? I really am.”

No response. He knocked one more time before considering that Sans might not actually be in there; he could just be talking to a room full of garbage. The hollow feeling of uncertainty bothered him enough that he tried turning the handle, but the door was locked as expected. _Once more with feeling_ : “Sans?”

Finally giving up, Papyrus drudged downstairs to feed himself and watch TV.

Mettaton’s show was as crazy and fast-paced as ever but tonight even that felt bland to Papyrus; all his focus was on the locked door upstairs and whether or not Sans was giving him the silent treatment.

After an hour of continuous failure to pay attention to the show he was supposed to be watching, he turned off the TV and lugged himself to his room. He tried reading a book, but it wasn’t any more distracting; his mind still kept on mulling over options, looking for answers.

When it was time to go to bed, Papyrus considered going over to knock on the door one more time, but gave up the idea and settled for the hope that tomorrow everyone would be calmed down enough to talk it through in the morning. Sans had to come out of his room at some point, right?

Papyrus changed to his pajamas and lay in his race car, pondering; listening for any sounds of movement in the house. Eventually, the dead silence lulled him to sleep.

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of his phone ringing.

“Nyeh…?” he answered, groggy. It was one of the patrons at Grillby’s; Sans needed to be picked up. “Seriously…” Papyrus complained but sat up anyway. “I’m on my way.”

He put on the nearest clothes he could find and hurried towards Grillby’s. The faster he got Sans home, the sooner he could go back to bed; he felt sleep deprived, frustrated and angry.

When he got to the bar he could already hear ruckus from inside. Sans was standing in the middle of the bar, swaying from side to side, clearly struggling to keep his balance. All the other customers were silently staring at the scene in front of them. Right next to Sans stood Doggo, his teeth bared, looking like he was ready to pounce.

“You… take that back right now!” he growled.

Sans was still teetering. He swung his arm at the direction of Doggo, but missed. He looked like he was about to fall over, so Papyrus ran over and caught Sans as he stumbled towards the hard wood floor.

“Ok, everybody calm down! Oh look Sans…” Papyrus glanced at his wrist to check the time on the watch he wasn’t wearing, “…It’s time to go home!”

“Naaaaaaahhh, broooo…” Sans protested but still leaned into his brother with all his weight. Papyrus picked Sans up into his arms and carried him towards the door. He gave an apologetic look and silent wave to the other monsters at the bar before they left. He was really ticked off but couldn’t let the others know, after all, this was between him and his brother. Why did Sans have to embarrass him like this; having to act as a transportation vehicle when Sans was no longer in the condition to walk or look after himself.

Papyrus felt sorrow filling him and his neck felt like some invisible force was trying to choke him. He used his anger to keep the tears down, to force them away. This was not the time…  But then again, it was never ‘the time’. ‘That time’ never came because they both refused it, avoided the subject as if it was some sort of death trap; they never talked about this stuff. Papyrus huffed in frustrations but kept marching along.

“eeyy, bro…” Sans squeaked right before he vomited all over Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus stopped in his tracks as he felt slimy goo of magic, ketchup and whiskey dripping down his back. It smelled horrid.

“Eeeewwwww SANS!” Papyrus cried out as he set his brother down in a hurry. Sans practically folded over as he puked again, this time on a snow poff, and his slippers.  Papyrus inspected his shirt with a disgusted look on his face. He _was_ disgusted, utterly; this was a total nightmare. _Why, Sans_?

Apparently done with spewing purple whiskey mucus, Sans tumbled down to the snowy ground. Papyrus looked down at his older brother, now lying on his back in the snow, eyes half open, trying to grab a hold of Papyrus’ boot.

“heeeyyy pappy…” Sans slurred, “you… you’re really pretty.” He gave Papyrus the drunkest smile ever.

“NYYYEHH!” Papyrus yelled out of frustration; he was fuming. It took all of his self-control not to leave Sans passed out in the snow next to his own sick. His brother had gotten himself into this mess with his out-of-control drinking and constant couldn’t-care-less attitude, why was Papyrus the one who had to take responsibility and do absolutely everything?

“Are you done?” Papyrus huffed, looking down.

“…yyeaa…” Sans’ voice was raspy and tired.

Papyrus picked up his brother once again, this time positioning him on the other side of his body, trying to avoid smearing the stain on him any worse. Sans closed his eye sockets and instinctively wrapped around Papyrus like a koala bear. As Papyrus resumed walking towards their home, Sans was already snoring.

They finally got to the house and Papyrus faithfully carried Sans to his room, digging around his jacket pocket for the key and dumped him on the bed. Sans’ room was gross; somehow tonight it made Papyrus feel even worse than he already did. This room with all its litter represented something Papyrus had zero control over and he couldn’t stand it. He found himself wiping away tears from the corner of his eye sockets. He didn’t have time for tears, he was still covered in Sans’ puke. He stole Sans’ slippers from his feet and headed to the washroom. He threw all the stained clothes into an empty laundry basket and washed his bones as thoroughly as he could.

By the time Papyrus got back to his room and back into his pajamas, it was almost dawn. He felt exhausted but not particularly sleepy. He lay down anyway and tried to calm down. _Deep breaths.._. But the pain washed through him like a giant wave of repression. His whole body shook violently as he tried to hold back the sobs escaping from his jaw, but there was no stopping this dam from bursting. Papyrus curled up into a ball, hugging his knees, and wept.

He couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t understand why Sans was acting the way he did; apathetic, lazy, underachieving and too often drunk off his ass. _Why_?

Papyrus thought back to the countless pep talks he’d had with Sans; the hundred and one times from their past that he had encouraged, nagged, urged or pushed Sans to pull himself together; to change his attitude towards life and to start caring about things, including his own well being. But it didn’t happen. Sans remained passive, as if the only thing he was determined about was to watch the world keep turning around him as he ignored it the best he could. Papyrus just couldn’t understand it; Sans hadn’t always been like this.

As his hiccups started becoming so intense it physically hurt, Papyrus focused again to try calming himself. He wrapped himself up in his blanket and tried to hum a soothing tune. It didn’t help. He didn’t have a plan and he felt like he really needed one. “ _I’m not giving up. I’m not quitting_.” he thought, determined. There had to be something he could do to help his brother; something he could say that would get through to him, something Sans would actually respond to. Papyrus just had no idea what that was.

After an hour of nervous twitching he finally dozed off.


	3. Chapter 3

Papyrus woke up feeling worried and unsure. He felt bad for having been so furious the night before, but at the same time thought it had been justified. He couldn’t help but wonder if Sans actually appreciated all the things Papyrus did for him, including being a personal taxi. Then again, maybe Sans was just having a bad week… or month.

Going through his morning routine, Papyrus tried to think of possible sources for Sans’ behavior; trying to pinpoint reasons in his brother’s life that could explain his apparent depression and his need to seek relief from the bottom of a bottle. Unfortunately, Papyrus wasn’t able to summon any clear thoughts; his natural tendency for order and control nagging at him, suffocating his mind.

While eating breakfast, his mood went back to anger again, this time directed at himself. Why hadn’t the Great Papyrus already thought of a solution and fixed this? He had tried many times, but failed every time; he needed to do better, to be stronger. This morning, however, “stronger” translated to him scrubbing the dishes clean so intensely that he broke the handle off his favorite mug. Groaning, he set the pieces aside and made a mental note to later ask Undyne if she had any glue he could borrow. It would have to wait though, since he still had more important duties to take care of; what if a human showed up today, he needed to be ready.

He left the house trying to ignore Sans and attempting to focus on humans. “ _Today’s the day; I can feel it in my bones! Today, I, the Great Papyrus, will capture a human!_ ” he convinced himself, like he did every single day before heading to his sentry station. There was still a lot of work that needed to be done if he ever wanted to see his ‘Gauntlet of Deadly Terror’ idea become reality. Determined, Papyrus marched on.

                                                                                       ---

Sans woke up feeling hellish. His skull felt like it was melting and exploding simultaneously. He moaned in a tired voice, clawing at his cranium to somehow make the throbbing stop, but it didn’t help. The cold sweat made his bones feel sticky and the hangover seemed to accentuate how badly his room smelled of garbage. Sans squirmed, trying to find a position that was bearable.

The house was completely silent and Sans sighed in relief that he didn’t have to deal with Papyrus right now. He closed his eye sockets and tried to fall back to sleep but found that the silence was actually bothering him; the atmosphere felt dead and heavy.

After twenty minutes of internal struggle Sans finally got up and dragged himself downstairs. He turned on the TV in the hopes that it would distract him from his self-loathing. It did not.

                                                                                       ---

When Papyrus returned, Sans was sprawled out on the couch; resting his forearm on his forehead. Hearing Papyrus stomp in, he lifted his arm to get a glimpse of the tall skeleton to get an estimate of his mood. Papyrus looked fed up; hands on his hips, staring at Sans with a discontent look on his face.

“Did you have fun last night?” Papyrus asked, annoyed. “ _Did you_?”

“umm, no… not really…” Sans admitted, turning off the TV.

“Then why do you have to keep drinking like this?” Papyrus pushed.

Sans groaned and turned to his side, curling up in the fetal position. He pulled his hood over his skull, as if trying to hide from Papyrus, or his hangover; or both. He looked deplorable and felt wretched. Papyrus sighed sorrowfully at the sight of the feeble ball of Sans; all his anger evaporating and being replaced by pity. The ball of Sans left plenty of room on the other end of the couch so Papyrus sat down.

“I can’t keep doing this,” Papyrus said quietly. The ball of Sans trembled slightly.

“If you stopped drinking for a while, maybe you’d feel better too,” Papyrus suggested. “Could you at least try?” he pleaded, “For me? Pleeeeaaase, Sans…”

The ball of Sans was sniffling.

Papyrus moved to the middle of the couch and lifted Sans up onto his lap; wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller skeleton. Sans returned the embrace and tied his hands around Papyrus’ spine, leaning into him; sobbing. Papyrus tried his hardest to keep it together and comfort his brother best he could, but as soon as Sans calmed down a bit, Papyrus started weeping. They took turns crying out all their misery and pent-up grief.

Eventually, they were both cried out and then just sat there, hugging in silence.

Finally, Sans lifted his head up; first glancing at Papyrus’ scarf (now wet from his tears), then making timid eye contact with his brother, giving him a little smile. Papyrus returned the smile and wiped the rest of his own tears on the scarf too. They sat for a while longer, both trying to decide what to say. Papyrus found enough courage to speak up first.

“So, umm… If I asked you to stop drinking, say, for the duration of your suspension; would you? At least try?” He gave Sans his most appealing smile. Sans glanced down and sighed.

“i’d do anything for you paps, you know that right?” he replied softly. Hearing the weariness in his voice, Papyrus decided to change the subject for now. “Can I interest you in a glamorous plate of silken pasta?” he asked hopefully. “umm, sure bro, that sounds nice,” Sans mumbled as he stumbled out of Papyrus’ lap and dropped on the seat next to him. Papyrus gave him one more hug before getting up and heading to the kitchen, visibly in better spirits; he even started humming a tune as he gathered up the ingredients. He felt relieved and victorious; Sans hadn’t run away and no one had yelled, even though they hadn’t talked much either, he still considered this development a success.

Sans leaned back and tried to think what he had just agreed to. He couldn’t say no to Papyrus, he wasn’t capable of that; especially when Papyrus pleaded to him, making puppy eyes. But the big question remained: could he do it, go back to being totally sober? Was he strong enough to carry around the weight of an endless loop of time-jumping realities? He used to be… he remembered being able to bear it, he just couldn’t remember _how_. Dealing with the knowledge that nothing he did or said really mattered; that everything could be wiped away clean at any moment, always starting over, again and again, was no simple feat.  

All those times he had actually opened up to Papyrus and told him the truth… it didn’t help, it never changed anything; Papyrus always forgot as soon as the anomaly happened next time. Sans couldn’t remember how many times he’d had “the truth talk” with his brother; he had too many timelines stuck in his head at once, melting together to a confusing web of ‘ _the past_ ’. At this point he wasn’t even sure what the official _past_ was anymore, the one everyone else knew about. Papyrus only ever had the one timeline to deal with at any given moment, good or bad, and Sans envied him for it.

He wanted to try though, to try to be a better brother to Papyrus; to be better _for_ Papyrus. Papyrus deserved to be happy, to be protected; he deserved the best and Sans was being the opposite of that, he was being a self-centered ass-hat. He should do this, for Papyrus, at least _try_. He knew he would not miss the hangovers, or the way he was feeling today; he did really want to stop wallowing and make an effort to be more considerate of Papyrus. Sans decided to start by stumbling into the kitchen to sit at the table and admiring how quickly Papyrus had recovered to his usual energetic self. Papyrus practically radiating hope always helped Sans to keep going not matter how hopeless he himself felt; if there was one thing he could always count on to give him inner strength and positivity, it was his brother. Papyrus was simply the most important person in the universe, not to mention the most precious.

Papyrus spun around almost spilling the sauce he was stirring.

“Sans! I think this will be the best meal you have ever eaten!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“that’s the spirit…” Sans mumbled supportively and smiled.

Papyrus grabbed plates and assembled their meals to neat piles; sticking forks in them like he was planting a flag. He presented the plates and bowed humbly setting them on the table. Sans gave him a fond look, clearly impressed by the heap of clumpy pasta trenched in a mystery sauce. Papyrus grinned effortlessly and sat down at the other end of the table. Sans knew Papyrus was staring at him expectantly as he chewed his first mouthful. The spaghetti was mushy and bland, and the sauce had a weird side taste that reminded Sans of burning coal.

“wow paps, this is really good. excellent job, bro” he lied without an ounce of guilt; focusing on enjoying the sight of Papyrus gleaming proudly, soaking it in. There was no chance in hell Sans would ever criticize Papyrus’ cooking efforts, no matter how weird they tasted; Papyrus’ innocence and enthusiasm were well worth preserving with some expertly told lies. And boy, was Sans experienced in lying to Papyrus.

They both happily finished their meals and Papyrus began cleaning up.

“Do you want to watch one of the movies Undyne recommended?” Papyrus asked in a shy tone. He knew Sans liked those animated films way more than he led on, usually pretending like he wasn’t interested. Papyrus glanced over his shoulder to see Sans smiling fondly at him. “sure bro, that sounds nice,” Sans replied, his grin widening as he sensed his brother’s excitement rising. Papyrus never could hide how much he loved being whisked away to a fantasy world and to go on a virtual adventure with made believe characters.

Sans watched calmly as Papyrus hurried to finish his chores, then spun around to announce that tonight’s film was going to be so epic it would surely knock Sans’ socks off. Sans chuckled and Papyrus practically ran up the stairs to his room to choose which film he might be referring to.

They ended up watching something called TMNT. Sans didn’t really follow the movie, he couldn’t find enough concentration to care about talking turtles but Papyrus kept getting more and more into it as the movie went on. By the time the movie was over, Papyrus was completely sold on the idea of ninja turtles. “No wonder Undyne likes this movie, that was spectacular,” he declared excitedly.

Sans yawned and stretched his limbs. “ey bro, you about ready for bed?” he asked; Papyrus wasn’t, but pretended he was, knowing Sans might be exhausted. “ _Atleast he stayed awake through the whole movie_ ,” Papyrus thought as he went to change to his pajamas. Sans read him Peek-a-boo with Fluffy Bunny and then said goodnight. Just as Sans was about to exit, Papyrus called out his name.

“what it is, paps?” Sans asked.

“ _You can do this, I believe in you_ ” Papyrus whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

First 4 days after his promise, Sans mostly stayed in his room, and mostly slept. Papyrus faithfully left him spaghetti with peculiar sauces outside his door for whenever he was hungry. A couple of times Sans even found a take-out bag from Grillby’s waiting for him. That greasy burger meant Papyrus had gone to his personal hell and back just for him, for a meal, and Sans appreciated every bite of it.

On the fifth day he made an effort to start eating with Papyrus in the kitchen again. Papyrus was beyond thrilled to see Sans making small improvements and it lifted both their spirits. Quality time was spent, which also made the sixth day easier for Sans.

The seventh day turned out to be the challenging one. Right from the moment Papyrus went off to his sentry duties, Sans felt like banging his head against a wall. His soul was fluttering weirdly and left him feeling anxious as hell. He needed something to dull his nerves. He knew he shouldn’t; it wasn’t what he had promised, but the craving was slowly growing and after an hour of internal struggle, Sans decided one drink wouldn’t be the end of the world.

                                                                                       ---

Flowey watched behind the trees as Sans waddled towards Grillby’s. This should be good; Smiley Trashbag was going to get drunk off his ass and Papyrus would be livid. _Guaranteed entertainment_.

It was going to take several hours though. Flowey would need to find himself a distraction until the lumpy skeleton was intoxicated enough to start getting into fights; that was the part Flowey didn’t want to miss.

He decided to go find out what Papyrus had been working on.

                                                                                       ---

Sans entered the bar and headed straight to his usual seat; giving a wave of his hand to all the other patrons sitting at the tables, now staring at him. Grillby was standing behind the counter, cleaning a wine glass. Sans sat and asked for a drink, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Grillby stood still and kept wiping the glass, his usual poker face on. Sans paused to look up at the bartender when his drink wasn’t appearing.

“Grillby would like you to know your brother stopped by here and asked him not to serve you for the next 3 weeks,” Red Bird clarified from a few seats away.

“did he now?” Sans said, sounding way more surprised than he should be; Papyrus wasn’t stupid, of course he had anticipated this.

“Yeah,” Punk Hamster chimed in, “he was really adamant too, he said that if we let you drink, he is gonna put puzzles in front of our houses, preventing us from going home. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”

“Me neither, where would I take all the hot guys then?!” Drunk Bun yelped.

Sans reconsidered his odds of being able to get a drink. He didn’t want to cause trouble for the fire monster, not to mention set Papyrus up for a night of revenge-puzzle building. Giving up on his quest, he let out an annoyed grunt and got up to leave.

“Grillby would also like to remind you to pay your tab once in a while,” Red Bird squawked after him as Sans trudged towards the door. “ _what’s the point_ …” he mumbled to himself, exiting and heading back home.

                                                                                       ---

With Papyrus out hunting for humans, Sans was left with a deafening silence. Sitting all alone, the whole house felt as if everything was somehow frozen in time, stuck in a never changing existence. Sans looked around him, really _looked_ , closely observing the lack of change or progress. Everything was the same. It was always the _same_. Effort towards permanent change was so pointless it hurt.

He closed his eyes and focused on the one thing that he never wanted to change: Papyrus. Papyrus was truly his lifeline, worth all the effort in the world. For Papyrus, Sans would keep going.

His hands twitched nervously on his lap and Sans realized just how on edge he was. He rummaged through his pockets for ketchup, but found none. Grunting, he lugged himself to the kitchen and checked every place he could reach for any stray packets. _where’s all the ketchup at?_ He should have asked Grillby to hook him up.

Clearly in need of restocking, Sans took a shortcut to his hot dog stand in Hotland. The station had both large bottles and individual packets; Sans shoved the small packets to his pockets and began chugging one of the larger containers. _now that’s good ketchup_.

Still feeling on edge though, Sans glanced around his stand to find no other monsters in sight. Even the air felt quiet; it bothered Sans. Maybe everyone went to Muffet’s parlor, it was not that far. Sans paused, feeling a sudden craving for spider cider. He searched the cash box to find plenty of spare gold, taking half of it with him and headed towards the area where the spiders were nesting.

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus arrived at his puzzle site only to find it totally destroyed. Instead of a glorious board of puzzle tiles, it was a wreck of pieces of tiles sticking out of the snow. Papyrus stared in disbelief, gaping at months of hard work vanished without notice. _Who did this? And why?_

As disappointment settled in, he began picking up the pieces and piling them near the reset button. He silently wondered if he would even find all the pieces that were originally there. Basically, he now needed to start the puzzle from scratch, using fewer tiles than before and Papyrus was not happy about that at all.

After all the pieces were together in a pile, Papyrus sat down to re-think his puzzle. “ _The first one was probably too tough anyway_ ,” he mused, “ _humans might not like that one. Perhaps I should’ve re-done this one regardless. So, whoever destroyed my puzzle possibly just did me a favor!_ ” Finding the bright side, Papyrus started getting excited about his brand new, better puzzle. Humming a cheerful tune, he began drawing out his plan in the snow.

                                                                                       ---

Muffet seemed happy to see Sans, giving him a teasing wink and reaching for a bottle of her famous cider before he could even say anything. “Ahuhuhu, fresh batch from this morning,” she pitched, one hand placing the jug on the counter while another reached towards the gold Sans was holding. He handed her the money. “thanks muffet,” he said, sounding glum but giving her a friendly grin.

Sans carried his jug around the corner, out of sight of the other monsters before teleporting to a small cliff ledge high above Waterfall. The view from up here was breathtaking; the marsh glowed like some weird underground aurora borealis, it looked majestic.

He sat down on the edge and hugging the bottle, surveyed the serenity of the underground. The crystals stuck to the ceiling twinkled playfully. Sans sighed and looked at the drink he was holding. He opened the cork and the thick, sweet aroma of spider cider filled the air around him. The smell was very strong, but pleasant; it reminded Sans of apples, sugar, and numbness. He raised the bottle towards his mouth, but hesitated as the mental image of a saddened Papyrus flashed through his mind. He could hear the memory of his brother’s voice echoing inside his skull: “ _Sans, please don’t do this_.” Suddenly the air felt heavy and cold. Sans shuddered.

He lowered the jug back onto his lap and put the cork back on; feeling the pressure to think this through more thoroughly. “ _you can’t do this, papyrus will be so disappointed_ ,” he argued to himself. Today, disappointing Papyrus wasn’t an option; Sans was more committed than ever to keep his little brother happy.

He sat around for a very long time, leaning on his jug; staring at the lights glowing down below, trying to channel some inner peace and more importantly, trying not to drink the cider.

Finally, he decided he didn’t want to be an affliction or a burden to his brother in any shape or form and that the only way to do that was to stay sober. He lifted the jug over the ledge and let it drop, watching it plummet. It reached maximum velocity before hitting some rocks far below, causing an explosion of clay shards and golden liquid. Sans felt an odd relief washing over him.

Feeling a sudden urge to hug his little brother, he figured it might be best to just go home.


	5. Chapter 5

Sans took a shortcut back to Snowdin, appearing behind the house. He circled around and entered, expecting to find Papyrus in the living room. He found the living room empty, but glancing upstairs saw the door to his room open. He locked it before leaving, didn’t he? _No, he did not_.

Sans scooted up the stairs, hearing rustling as he approached his doorway. Papyrus was on his hands and knees in the middle of the room, collecting trash into a plastic bag.

“are you stealing my trash?” Sans asked as he walked in. Papyrus turned towards Sans with an annoyed look on his face. “Yes! Yes I am, Sans. No one should live like this!” he boomed, holding up a seriously shredded-up Nice Cream wrapper.

“it’s _my_ room,” Sans remarked calmly, approaching his brother who was still on the floor gathering pieces of garbage. Papyrus stopped as Sans put his hand on his shoulder. “Fiiiine…” Papyrus groaned, letting go of the wrappers, trying to rein in his compulsion. Sans padded him on the back and Papyrus got up, leaving the trash where he had found it. Skimming over the state of the room he was in, Papyrus looked dissatisfied, but controlled himself.

“c’mon bro, i’m starvin’” Sans declared and grabbed Papyrus’ hand, leading him out of the room. As soon as they got to the hallway, Sans turned and locked the door behind them. It was only considerate, since he was all too aware of how easily Papyrus obsessed about that stuff.

They went downstairs and arriving in the kitchen, Sans noticed there was no hype about the upcoming meal, no promises of quality or excellence to be heard. Papyrus stared at the tips of his boots quietly as Sans sat down at the table.

“you ok, bro?” Sans asked gently. Papyrus glanced in the direction of his brother but didn’t make eye contact. “I’m sorry I went in your room behind your back, I know you don’t like it when I…” he trailed off.

“hey, don’t sweat it paps,” Sans assured, “you know i just like to keep my trash a certain way and honestly, you mess up my _feng shui_ ,” he grinned. This managed to make Papyrus giggle slightly.

“Where did you even go anyway?” Papyrus queried cautiously.

“i just needed to clear my head a little,” Sans shrugged.

“Oh. And did you?” Papyrus smiled a bit, sounding hopeful.

“yeah. you were right, bro. i need to step it up and be… _better_. and i will, i promise. no more excessive drinking; you got my full, sober attention.” Sans smiled at his brother, making eye contact and they both nodded at each other.

“THAT’S WONDERFUL, SANS!” Papyrus yelled surprisingly loudly. Sans could feel his soul brighten up as he watched Papyrus’ enthusiasm rising once again, practically lighting up the room. “OH, OH!” Papyrus continued, still way too loud, pointing his index finger up towards the ceiling, “I SHOULD MAKE CELEBRATORY CAPELLINI!” He shook his finger intensely back and forth, clearly imagining in his mind the most glorious plate of angel hair pasta. Sans grinned and leaned back on his chair; he liked the sound of this plan. He put his hands behind his skull and watched with delight as Papyrus bounced around the kitchen, _almost_ breaking things in his over-excitement.

And the capellini was, in fact, sort of glorious. Sans devoured his portion quickly. Papyrus didn’t eat as much, instead opting to talk through the meal, gushing about absolutely everything. Sans hung on to his every word, listening intensely as he casually ate the rest of the pasta off his brother’s plate.

Both feeling like there was no stopping them, they spent the rest of their evening strolling through Snowdin, chatting with people and horsing around.

On this night, they were both genuinely _happy_.

                                                                                       ---

For once Papyrus wasn’t headed to meet Flowey because he needed to unburden himself; he went to the cave just to gush. He explained in great detail how happy he was feeling and how nice it was to get to spend quality time with his brother. Flowey listened, but looked somber. Everything was going so much better now, Papyrus couldn’t quite grasp why Flowey seemed so indifferent to his joy.

“Are you sure he’s not drinking?” Flowey insinuated, “he’s probably drinking in secret behind your back.”

“What?! No, he is not! I can tell he is not,” Papyrus announced confidently.  

“Yeah, I guess so,” Flowey admitted, sounding discouraged. “Very well, dear Papyrus, it seems you have indeed changed your brother for the better. _Kudos_.” Flowey said in a saccharin voice and mimicked a golf applause; cute and oblivious Papyrus conveniently missing the fakeness of his praise. Flowey switched to a smiling sprite which convinced Papyrus even more that he was in the company of a friend.

Flowey fought his overwhelming urge to grab Papyrus and strangle him. His favorite toy suddenly seemed so dull, what else was in the options? He needed something more interesting than this mind-numbing fluff.

Before he could make up his mind, Papyrus thanked him for his time and got up to leave. Flowey bridled but let him go, staring holes in the skeleton’s back as Papyrus capered back out into the world and headed home.

Sans was waiting for him, lounging on the couch. Papyrus made them spaghetti and they spent the evening hanging out, joking around and watching TV. Nothing was wrong, and everything was perfectly peaceful.

Both of them went to bed content, Sans just slightly more aware of how temporary and fragile their situation really was. Neither of them spotted a yellow flower peering in from the window, spying.

                                                                                       ---

Flowey couldn’t understand why things seemed to be going so well for the skeleton brothers. That pathetic sack of crap was always drinking heavier after murder runs, why wasn’t it working this time? The development was unusual, sure, but not particularly interesting. In fact, this was just boring fluff with no point to it. Flowey wanted a run that was going somewhere, and it was becoming more and more clear he wasn’t going to get it this way. Papyrus was much more fun when distressed and right now he was too balanced for Flowey’s tastes.

All in or fold, it was about time to end it.

                                                                                       ---

Papyrus woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of tapping on glass. He got up and wandered over to the window; there was a curled up end of a long vine knocking against the glass. Papyrus opened his window and stuck out his upper body to try to see better, spotting Flowey down on the ground behind the house. Flowey grinned menacingly as the vine next to the window wrapped quickly around Papyrus’ neck and yanked him out the window. He screamed out of surprise as he fell and out of pain as he hit the ground, landing in the snow right next to Flowey.

“Howdy, Papyrus! Don’t scream too loud, if you wake your dumbass brother, I’ll kill ya both,” he said in an unnervingly chipper voice. Papyrus writhed in pain; everything hurt, but he tried not to make a lot of noise. He had no freaking idea what was going on, but he did know he didn’t want to drag Sans into it. Whatever the reason for Flowey to act this way, Papyrus would handle it. Once the shock cleared a little, he sat up on the ground, his horrified gaze fixed on the flower.

“W-why did you do that? Hurt my bones,” he managed to complain, carefully checking to make sure he was still in one piece.

Flowey’s smile turned into a look of discontentment. “I am BORED, Papyrus. Now, do something interesting,” he demanded.

Papyrus stared blankly. “Y-you pu-pulled me out of a window… at 3 am… to… be entertained…?”

“Yes!” Flowey exclaimed, “This run is going nowhere! Why are you being such a boring wimp; you are wasting my time with your stupid bullshit!”

Papyrus wasn’t getting any less confused; he had no idea what to say.

“I like you much better toughened up, Papyrus,” Flowey continued, “The times when you actually man up and make hard decisions; instead of being an emotional door mat and clinging to that despicable sack of self-loathing you call a brother.”

Flowey was done pretending; for this run, he was done faking a friendship with the trembling skeleton. Nice time was officially over. Papyrus was just a toy; at this point he might as well know who was really in charge here.

Flowey dug out more vines and wrapped tightly around Papyrus’ arms and legs. The pressure of the vines on his bones made Papyrus panic and he began struggling. “Oww, you’re hurting meeee-eeeee-nnnngghhh…” More vines wrapped around Papyrus’ jaw and skull, anchoring him in place.

Flowey moved in closer. “How about I feed you my little white friendliness pellets?” he asked teasingly. Papyrus closed his eye sockets, willing himself to wake up from this unexpected nightmare. Flowey twisted his vines hard enough to fracture both of Papyrus’ collar bones. Papyrus let out a few muffled screams, shaking violently. There was a sharp snap as his left humerus broke into two; he screamed again.

“I guess this at least counts as mildly interesting,” Flowey mused. He swept up a tear from Papyrus’ cheek with his leaf. “Would you like to fight back, Papyrus?” he asked, trying to keep eye contact with his toy. Papyrus tried his best to look at anything but Flowey. The fractures kept radiating sharp, throbbing pain; preventing him from thinking clearly, or at all, really. He tried to shake his skull for ‘no’ but it was so difficult to move.

Flowey looked disappointed. He released some of his vines gripping Papyrus, causing him to screech as the broken bones shifted under the pressure.

“Well, this was a bust,” Flowey admitted. “Nothing unexpected happened and you’re still a wimpy-ass loser. Maybe it’s time we cut our losses and try again, eh Papyrus?” He released the vines around Papyrus’ skull, getting another shriek out of the helpless skeleton.

Papyrus gazed up towards the “stars”; letting his tears flow freely, trying not to move his upper body. “Do your worst, you stupid flower,” he spat out in defiance.

“Oh, I promise you I _will_ ,” Flowey assured, “just not in _this_ timeline. What we need right now is a fresh start, new opportunities… I can give you the world, Papyrus, but I can also tear it down in an instant. Sometimes I just wish you’d work a little harder to make sure I don’t have to tear _you_ to pieces.” Flowey offered a care-free grin.

Papyrus shook his head again. Nothing Flowey was saying made any sense to him; all he wanted was for this nightmare to be over and the pain to stop. Luckily for him, he was about to get his wish granted.

Flowey sighed and tried to stay optimistic. “Let’s just hope the next run will be a bit more interesting… a bit more… _fun_.” He gave Papyrus one last condescending look before diving back down deep into the ground. Then he hit RESET.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so if you find dumb linguistic or grammar errors, feel free to point those out. Thanks.


End file.
